when you fake sick and everyones like “yeah you look really terrible”
I don’t know why Frank insisted on bringing me to this dinner party, I don’t even know what to talk about and everyone’s already having a conversation, it’d be awkward to butt in. A steakhouse? Really? I’m a pescetarian, Frank. We’ve known each other ten years. Nobody’s even bothered to comment on my coat or offered a tummy rub. Your friends are shit, Frank.
my favorite post of 2013
So glad I’m 18 I’m going to look at porn for the first time ever
i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying
"oh no my potato"
i always think “if people want to talk to me they will” which is my reasoning for never really starting conversations so i’m permanently thinking no one wants to talk but what if they’re sat there thinking the same and it’s just this cycle of silence that never gets broken because i’m too stubborn to just put myself out there
the best part about blogging is that no one actually knows if youre naked or not
as daft punk walk onstage to accept their grammy they remove their helmets to reveal they are both ashton kutcher and you’ve all been Daft Punk’d
I’m ordering a nuclear strike on the “Friend Zone” so we can be rid of “Nice Guys” once and for all.
hey men you know how i’m always talking about how most of you never do shit and yet you think just because you aren’t actively killing women in the streets you aren’t to blame for the patriarchy? maybe if you did what this guy is doing, that shit say about men would actually not apply to you most of the time! :D
I’ve recently decided to freeze myself to -273℃. My friends think I’ll die, but I’ll be 0K.